Max Shulman writes another humorous piece in The Dickinsonian that doubles as a cigarette advertisement. Shulman tells that story of Blossom, an "impecunious freshman at an Eastern girls' college," who would not date due to lack of money. She did not join her classmates on weekend outings, instead sitting alone with a pack of Marlboros because "even an exchequer as slim as Blossom's can afford the joys of Marlboro...." In the story, sophomore Tom O'Shanter, in order to date Blossom, overcomes all of the financial hurdles that are keeping her at home: he promises to buy her a train ticket, send her food for the trip, purchase a set of nice clothing, send her "poor lame brother Tiny Tim" to a clinic, and give her father Yosemite so that Blossom can come from a wealthy family. Blossom asks the Dean of Women if she should accept Tom's gifts.